


One and Only You

by haatorii



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accountant Castiel (Supernatural), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean, Bottom Dean Winchester, Dean and Cas weren't together in this fic, I think this is one of the saddest shit I've ever written, I thought this was another fic I wrote, I totally forgot this existed, M/M, Musician Dean Winchester, Pining, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Weddings, people are complaining I didn't tag this properly, that is because I don't know how to appropriately tag stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 10:57:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15772722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haatorii/pseuds/haatorii
Summary: Dean recalls his story with Cas.





	One and Only You

**Author's Note:**

> This work is, unlike all of my other works, unbeta'd. I basically had a mind fart the other day while listening to some music and I got carried away. This was supposed to be a "re-imagining" of my fic When We Were Young where it was written in Castiel's POV but other songs made a larger impact so I just made it different.
> 
> If you find any grammatical errors, inconsistencies, and such, please do not hesitate to tell me so I could change it. Thank you very much.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy reading! Let me know what you think :)

“Dean, I have a request.”

“’Kay, man. Shoot.”

“Will you sing at my wedding?”

Dean stopped writing. “What did you just say?” he asked.

“I said, will you sing to my wedding?”

“Uh… I don’t know, Cas.”

“Please, Dean?” Castiel held his gaze and in Dean’s vision his eyes seemed to morph that into a puppy. Kinda what Sam gives him when he wanted something when they were younger, and honestly until now. “I’ll pay you. Don’t worry, we’re putting away some money for your talent fee.”

“Uh… okay, I’ll see into my schedule,” Dean gave him a weak smile, “but that’s not final yet. I’m still gonna look into Charlie’s schedule for me on the month of the wedding.”

“It’s fine. Thank you, Dean, for even considering it. I owe you one,” Cas clapped Dean’s shoulder and stood up, “if you’re gonna get married I’ll handle the honeymoon!”

 

 

When Cas was finally out of earshot, Dean rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hand and let out a deep sigh. He was fucked. He’s slumped with composing shit for his new album and Cas just asked him to sing for his wedding. To be honest he was free for the entire month of Castiel’s wedding. He made sure to ask Charlie to clear his schedule for the entire month to spend some time with Cas before he’s off to marry his girlfriend because he wasn’t planning on attending. He planned on getting wasted that night in a bar in Bumfuck, Nowhere so paparazzi couldn’t to their shit. But now that Cas actually asked him to sing for his wedding, who was he to deny a special request from a dear friend? It’s his wedding, for fuck’s sake. He’d never once denied Cas of anything and he didn’t plan on starting anytime soon.

 

********************************************************

 

Castiel and Dean weren’t friends. They grew up around each other but never had the opportunity to interact with each other until high school, but Dean’s first memory of Cas was when they were still in primary school; Dean brought his new toy to school to show off to his classmates. He loved it so much he wouldn’t even let his closest friends borrow it even just for a while, but then Cas approached him with his big blue eyes, asking to borrow it, he felt a pang in his heart so Dean didn’t have a choice.

Cas never returned the toy. He never asked for it back.

Maybe that was the beginning of his life turning into shit.

They were seated next to each other in high school and soon they’d become friends. At first it was just the two of them then Benny joined, then Jo, then Victor, then Ash.

They weren’t special or anything, they didn’t even belong to any clicks in high school. They were just regular high school students with regular set of friends, living in a regular city with their regular families. Cas was smart, yes, but not super smart or whatever, just enough to be called smart. Dean was just regular. Sometimes he’s good at one subject, sometimes he’s terrible at one. That’s why he most of their classmates were shocked when Dean Winchester, a regular boy from their regular town, made it big in the music industry.

He and Cas went to college together, as to Castiel’s pleas. His heart was set near Sam’s dream school but he liked being with Cas too so he agreed. They both got accepted and by fall, they were enrolled in a university farther than Dean would’ve liked. Cas enrolled in accounting and him in engineering. They’ve had regular interests too; Dean had his band and Cas had his open poetry nights and art shows.

They did things together for far too long that they started to become ‘Dean and Cas’, even in college, you can’t find one without the other one around. Countless of people have had mistook them for a couple and sometimes they just don’t even anymore. Cas never made a big deal out of it but Dean was a bit conscious about it. When he asked Cas about it he responded with ‘it’s not true so why dwell on it’ so Dean brushed the comment off the next time it happened.

They’re too close their families don’t even bother to find them anymore when the both of them are missing. As long as they’ve explicitly said that they’re with each other, they could be gone for three days and no one would be worried, because their families know that they’d never do anything stupid to hurt their families, and more importantly, each other.

 

When Cas told Dean he got himself a girlfriend two months into college, Dean was surprised. He actually never thought that Castiel needed someone other than Dean. It sounded incredibly childish at first to Dean because yeah, of course he needed a girlfriend. He’s a healthy human being with desires and shit and Dean knew he couldn’t give them to him.

Castiel and Meg’s relationship lasted for six months. They broke up because Castiel was spending too much time with Dean than Meg would’ve liked. It didn’t bother Cas when Meg accused him of being gay, ‘I’m not gay but if I am, I’m not gonna cheat on you with Dean, Meg, I’m gonna break up with you and be with him. He’s that different from you,’ he said. Dean was glad they broke up but he couldn’t explain the twitch inside him. He ignored it.

Castiel asked him to cut class with him even though he had an important test coming up. He said okay. He failed the class.

He got himself a girlfriend after Meg and Cas broke up. He got one because he could, not because he wanted one. He and Cindy broke up after three months then it was followed by endless strings of girls.

Dean and Cas still spend their time together when they’re not neck-deep in school requirements. Sometimes they even do them together even though their departments were way further apart and they’re living in different buildings. Dean cherished every moment of it.

 

Sophomore year when he found out he was bisexual. He and Castiel had a petty fight that day that left them throat to throat so Dean slammed the door on Castiel’s face and went bar hopping. He drank himself stupid and when some guy with a dark hair and distractingly blue eyes propositioned to him, he found himself agreeing and going to the other guy’s place. They fucked, he liked it. They fucked again the next morning and he still liked it, loved it even, and after a few weeks Dean got himself a boyfriend.

Dating Matthew was different from the girls he dated. Physically it was very different because Matt was all hard and sharp edges, while his last girlfriend, Lisa, was soft, supple, and just plain sweet. Matt was flexible and sweet as well, just not the same as Angela, Rose, Dina, Felicia, Hattie, Toni, Trish, Cassandra, Cathy, Catherine…

He didn’t have a hard time accepting his sexuality. Matt was very helpful and his friends and family were supportive, especially Cas. At first he thought Castiel would get weirded out but he was very accepting when Dean came out to him. He and Matt were already dating when he came out to Cas, but he was nothing but supportive.

Dean and Matt didn’t last long. They were almost in their first year anniversary when Matt broke up with Dean. It broke his heart but something was off, he just didn’t know what. Matt explained very little as to why he was breaking up with Dean and he didn’t pester him with any more questions. Dean was disappointed with himself when he got over Matt almost immediately. Then it was endless strings of girlfriends AND boyfriends with Dean.

Castiel had another girlfriend, Hannah. She was sweet, smart, and assertive. Dean didn’t like her very much but he tolerated her because she made Cas happy. And if Cas was happy, Dean was happy as well. By this time, Dean was losing interest in school and failed a couple of classes so he had a lot of free time. As much free time as an engineering student could have in his junior year taking minor subjects because he’d failed them, so not so much.

Dean and Matt met again. It’s been a few months. They went out for coffee to catch up a little bit. Dean mentioned their breakup which made Matt sigh.

“Did you know why I broke up with you?” He asked.

“No, you haven’t really told me why.” He answered.

“And you still have no idea why?”

“Still got no clue, man.”

“Really, Dean? Oh wow, I underestimated how dense you are with your feelings.” He rubbed his face with his two hands. Dean was still confused.

“Okay, if you still don’t know I’m gonna tell you.” Matt said, he touched Dean’s shoulder and continued, “You’re in love with Cas.”

Dean looked at him, face blank, “Uh… I don’t think so.”

“Yes, you do, Dean. You’re in love with him.”

“Uh, no? He’s my best friend, Matt. How can I be in love with my best friend?”

“It’s pretty obvious, Dean. You’re just not looking hard enough. I bet if I ask any of your band mates they’d say the same.”

“The fuck? No, I’m not. I swear, Matt, I’m not in love with him.”

“If you don’t believe me, fine. But think about it.” Matt stood up from their booth and gave Dean one last hug and went on his way. Dean sat there for a couple more hours.

 

Cas and Hannah broke up after more than a year of being together. Hannah wanted Castiel to go with her in an internship abroad but he didn’t want to. Dean never knew the reason why. Hannah, being ambitious and smart as she was, told him her soon-to-be career was more important than him so she let him go.

Castiel was devastated. It was the first time Dean saw him cry like that. It was almost too painful to see someone you care about and you’ve known for so long cry his heart out. Castiel asked him to stay with him, so he did. They drank all night. Good thing it was a Sunday. He had to study for another test but since Cas asked him, he couldn’t say no. His friend needed him, so he had to stay, very important test be damned. After all when he and Matt broke up Cas was right there with him for almost a week after. And when he and Lisa broke up, he was there too, comforting him in the best way he could.

“Why would she do that, Dean?” he asked.

“Do what?” Dean asked back.

“Go abroad! Why would she do that?”

“I don’t know what to say that could make you understand why she broke up with you, but I think it was her decision all along?” He said, and sipped his beer, “I mean the internship thing, not break up with you, obviously.” He grinned.

“Is it really my fault she broke up with me?” he asked.

“I really don’t know what to say,” he leaned in and rubbed Cas’ shoulder, “just carry on. You’ll find another girl out there.”

“She’s it for me, Dean. I don’t know if I’ll ever want someone else.”

“Just try, Cas.”

They drank again in silence. After a few minutes Cas started talking again.

“You’re right. It’s my fault because I don’t want to go with her.” Seeing him with his eyes puffy and tears pooling, threatening to fall, made Dean feel like he’d been stabbed. Like he’d been tortured. He felt like he was kidnapped and they were ripping his fingernails off with pliers.

“No, it’s not your fault, Cas. You just want different things,” He reasoned out, “If you’re meant to be together, then you’ll find your way back to each other.” It was sappy, even for him, but it’s fine. They’re both drunk and he was sure Cas would forget everything he said the next day.

Castiel calmed down around late at night but they still continued drinking. Cas asked him not to talk about Hannah anymore so Dean changed the subject. They talked about lots of things; Dean’s band, Castiel’s weekly poetry night, Dean’s standing as a junior student in engineering and what he’s going to do about it, what classes Dean failed and what he’s taking up again, et cetera. Dean answered everything Cas asked him. By midnight, he sensed that Cas already felt a little bit better.

“What did you feel when you first had sex with Matt?”

“Uh… what?”

“I said, what did you feel when you first had sex with Matt.” Dean heard him the first time but his words slurred. He asked again just to make sure he was hearing it correctly.

“Uh, it was good. Great, even.” He answered.

“You liked it?”

“Of course, I did. I wouldn’t date him if I didn’t like the sex. Heh.” He said.

“You know, I’m always curious about it.”

“You are?”

“Sure, I mean I’m not homophobic or somethi--”

“No you’re not, Cas.”

“Uh, yeah, but I’m always curious about it. Like, how do I know if I’m not gay?”

“You’re not gay, Cas.” He said.

“But how do you know that?”

“You’re just not, trust me.”

“Okay, but hear me out,” he leaned in closer to Dean, “But what if I am?”

“No you’re not you fucking idiot.” Dean laughed and shoved Cas playfully back to his chair.

“But what if I am!” Cas was giggling as well and Dean couldn’t help it he laughed.

“Dean, listen. What if we do it?” He was laughing as he told Dean.

“What? Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes, I am. Given we’re already here at your place, we could do it here.”

“Oh my god Cas, you’re fucking serious.”

“I am! That’s what I’ve been telling you.”

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god.” Dean hid his face in his hands. He felt Castiel’s hands on his shoulders.

Dean thought about it hard, and it seemed like Cas’ words sobered him up. Still he waited for a few more moments. Matt’s words running around his mind again. He said yes. Maybe if something happened to them and nothing ‘dawned’ to him he could throw Matt’s words back at him.

Castiel was already climbing up the stairs when Dean decided to follow him. How fucking lucky of them Dean’s roommate, Jason, was at home with this family or whatever. That was probably not the reason why he wasn’t home but that was the first reason his mind came up.

Dean locked the door behind him and Castiel was in front of him, smiling. His hands were in his pocket and there was a pink flush on his skin. It looked good on him.

“Now what do we do?” Castiel asked.

“I don’t know.” Dean answered.

“You’re expert at this, you should know.”

“Shut up, Cas, I’m thinking. This is the first time we’re gonna do this.” Dean was sweating bullets behind his neck. He could also feel the trickle of sweat pooling on his lower back.

“Aw, what the hell,” Castiel said and kissed Dean. His arms immediately wrapping around Dean’s neck.

Dean was surprised and he unconsciously placed his hands on Castiel’s hips. Castiel was still kissing him and he was still wrapping around his head to the fact that Cas was in his arms, kissing him.

Cas, noticing Dean’s lack of participation, stopped. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You have stubble.” Dean responded.

“So do you.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“But you’re used kissing people with beards.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Shall we go back to kissing?”

Dean hesitated for a little bit, “Okay.”

“Great.”

It was Dean’s turn to initiate the kiss.

Cas didn’t complain anymore and Dean sighed to the kiss. His hands were now wrapped around Castiel’s torso and he pulled him closer to him. A heartbeat later he felt Castiel’s tongue poking his upper lip so he opened his mouth slightly. Cas wasted no time and slipped his tongue inside Dean’s mouth. Dean moaned to it.

“You like that?” Cas asked.

“Yeah,”

“Me too.” He said. They went back to kissing.

Their innocent use of tongue gradually turned filthy. It was the middle of the night and it’s unusually quiet. All they could hear were their harsh breaths, the filthy sound of tongue and saliva mixing with each other.

As if on cue both of them separated to come up for air. He looked at Castiel’s lust-filled face and it hit him that this is the only time he could do this with the person he loved the most in the world. Loved. Fuck. **Fuckfuckfuck**. Matt was right. Fucking hell, when? Dean couldn’t let himself think. He shouldn’t have thought about it. He latched his mouth under Castiel’s jaw and started kissing him. He nipped, sucked, and licked Cas’ jaw, neck, and the sensitive skin behind the ear. Castiel moaned filthily.

Dean could feel himself harden in his pants, and he was glad he could feel Castiel’s cock hardening under his pants too.

Castiel was falling apart under his hands and he loved every second of it. For the first time he had something that they both shared together. And even if everything after this fell apart, he has something to keep for himself.

Dean shut himself down. He couldn’t not think about everything that was happening so he just focused on Cas. He pushed Cas to the bed and kneeled in front of him. He hurriedly stripped Cas of his sweatpants and palmed him in his boxers. Cas was a moaning mess above Dean. Everything Dean did, every small touches, every caress, he’d repay with a deep groan, a leg twitch, a moan, a curse, and it all egged Dean on.

He put Castiel inside his mouth and gently sucked the tip. Castiel felt great on his tongue but he couldn’t savor him. Thinking about who the dick he was sucking connected to was dangerous. This was a mistake and Dean knew it, but he continued.

The blowjob Dean gave Castiel was fast, dirty, and sloppy. He would give Cas a mind-blowing blowjob but doing so would mean he had to enjoy himself as well. And he couldn’t do that. He was drooling and he could feel every drop of precome on his tongue. Cas bucked his hips up. Dean nearly choked but he calmed himself down.

Dean was about to come from sucking Cas off. He was so hard in his pants he was pretty sure he could pound some nails with it. He shoved his sweats and underwear down with one hand. He released Castiel’s dick from his mouth and breathed a sigh of relief.

Castiel was seriously on the verge of coming when he stopped to look at Cas. His friend was flushed red from either the alcohol or the pleasure, Dean had no idea what. Cas was gripping the sheets tight his knuckles turned white.

“You can hold on to my hair, Cas, I don’t mind.” He assured him.

“Oh yeah? Fuck, Dean, your mouth’s incredible.” And he gripped it with his right hand.

Dean continued sucking. He could feel the clenching and unclenching of Castiel’s fingers on his head.

“Dean, Dean, fuck! I’m gonna… ungh, Dean… gonna come!” Dean gripped the base of Castiel’s cock tight.

“Shitshitshit! Dean! Fuck! I’m so close!” Cas begged, but Dean was having none of it.

“Do you want to fuck me?” He blurted out.

The look of concentration to prevent himself from coming disappeared. “What?” he asked.

“I said do you want to fuck me,” he answered.

“Yes! Oh god, yes please, Dean. I want to fuck you!” Cas kissed Dean again, but more tongue and teeth than lips. Dean kissed him back with just as much tongue.

“Lie down.” Dean ordered his friend. Cas immediately obliged.

Dean took off Castiel’s ratty old shirt (it was his back when they were still in senior high school) and threw it somewhere around the room. Then he pulled all the way down his sweatpants and boxers and kicked it off to the direction of Cas’ ratty shirt.

They’ve seen each other naked before, but not like this. With pure lust in their eyes, with Dean maybe more, Cas smirked at Dean. “Come here, Dean.” And because Cas requested, he did. They kissed some more. When Dean deemed it was enough, he crawled away to grab the bottle of lube and condoms under his bed. Cas palmed his ass. Dean squirmed.

He wasn’t out to Jason so he had to keep his toys and lube inside a small shoebox under his bed. Jason thought it was Dean’s box of rulers for some reasons.

Dean opened the lube and poured a generous amount on his left hand. He threw the bottle in the middle of the bed and faced Cas. When he was confident Cas was watching him, he reached behind him and circled his index finger in his hole. He often did this to himself when masturbating so it didn’t take him a long time to prep himself.

Soon he was fucking himself in his three fingers. His fingers brushing his prostate in every third thrust. Cas looked at him in awe, “Dean, I couldn’t believe it. You’re fucking incredible.” Dean moaned to the praise. He could feel himself dripping on the sheets.

“Can I?” Cas asked.

“Alright,” who was Dean to deprive him of his wants? “Pour some lube on your hand before inserting a finger.”

Castiel poured excessive amounts of lube on his hand, “So I don’t hurt you.” He reasoned out when he saw Dean watching him.

When Cas was done, Dean guided his hand in his open hole. “ _Fuuuuuuck_ , Cas.”

“God, Dean. You’re so tight on my fingers. How much more on my cock? Fuck.”

Dean rocked himself on Cas’ fingers while moaning like a cheap whore. He couldn’t help it. It felt good. Cas felt good inside of him. “I’m ready, C-Cas.” He said.

“You sure, Dean?”

“Yeah, I am. Go. Lie down.” Castiel removed his fingers inside him. He winced from the sudden loss of them inside his hole.

He guided Cas in the middle of the bed. He put pillows under Cas’ head so he wouldn’t strain his neck. He threw his leg over Cas to straddle him. He then lifted himself up and guided Cas’ dick on his hole.

“Wait,” Cas said, “Condoms?”

“I’m clean. I got my result a week ago.” Dean confirmed him.

“Mine was two months ago, but I haven’t been with anyone else except for Hannah. And we always use condoms.”

“Do you want to bareback?”

Cas pretended to think, “What the hell, we’re both clean, so fuck condoms.”

“Great.” Dean pushed himself down on his best friend’s cock.

They both panted when Dean bottomed out, “Fuck, D-Dean. _Fuckfuckfuck_! You’re so fucking t-tight!” Cas moaned.

Cas unconsciously bucked on him and Dean let out a long groan, “ _Oohh_ ,”

“You like that?”

Dean whimpered, “Yes,”

“Oh my god, Dean!”

When the both of them had adjusted to the feeling of each other, Dean started gyrating his hips gently, forming a number eight. Cas never stopped moaning.

Soon, Dean was bouncing up and down off of Cas’ dick. Cas was thrusting as well, meeting Dean’s ass as he push himself down. Castiel was gripping Dean’s hips so hard he was sure there would be bruises on it. Dean would be happy if there were bruising, for that would mean it was never a dream.

“Dean, Dean, wait!” When Dean slowed down, Cas instantly changed their position by sitting up and pushing Dean on the bed. “Now go.”

Cas held Dean’s left leg up and continued fucking him. The new position gave Cas more space to spread Dean’s leg and fuck into him. Dean was giving high pitched moans. “ _Ah, ah, ah_ , Cas Cas Cas! Fuck _uugh_ fuck!” He reached on to Cas’ neck and wrapped his arms around him.

“Yeah, Dean, you like that? That how your boyfriends fucked you?”

Dean didn’t answer that.

“Bab-- Cas, Cas I’m c-coming! I’m almost there! Harder please, harder!” He was too far gone to acknowledge that he almost called Cas ‘baby’. It hurt.

 Cas gave him three more thrusts and he was coming on his stomach untouched.

 _I love you_ , he thought to himself.

A few more thrust and Cas was saying he’s going to cum too, so Dean clenched his muscles around Cas a couple of times to let his friend come. “I’m coming, Dean!”

“Come on, Cas. Give it to me! Fill me with your come.”

“ _Deandeandean_!” Castiel give out a silent cry as he emptied himself inside Dean.

 

 

Cas collapsed on Dean’s chest so he held on to his friend’s shoulders and kissed him. After a while Cas rolled off of Dean.

He was high on sex and his legs and arms were still weak, but he forced himself to stand, clenching his ass to keep Cas’ semen inside of him and went to grab some towels in his closet. He then went to the toilet to clean himself.

Now completely sober, he looked at his reflection on the mirror. He looked like what he felt; thoroughly fucked. His hair was a mess, there were love bites all over his chest, and he literally smelled like jizz. He wiped himself off and got inside the shower. He turned it on, full blast, as cold as possible, colds be damned, to get his senses back. When he turned the shower off he could feel Cas’ release oozing down his leg so he took the shower head and turned it back on. He squat down and inserted his fingers up his swollen, and frankly still agape, rim to scrape the seed out. He could only remove much before sensitivity took over so he ignored the rest. Anyway no one died because of semen inside their ass.

Less than twenty minutes and Dean was out of the shower. He still felt like shit because he just had rebound sex with his best friend, and apparently the person he’s in love with, but at least he didn't smell like sex anymore. But what’s making Dean feel worse was because _he_ was the rebound. God knows he’d done rebound sex a couple of times but it felt different when you’re the rebound. He almost went back inside the shower to throw up.

Castiel was fast asleep on Dean’s bed. He never knew if he was faking it or he was simply in a deep asleep. He was still filthy with Dean’s cum so Dean retrieved some wet towels in the shower and wiped the jizz off of Cas. He also gently rubbed Cas’ junk with the wet towel. When Dean was done, he made Cas wore one of his sweatpants and draped a blanket on him. He turned off the lights in his room and slept on their living room.

His room’s door was open and he was lying on his couch, he was tired but his brain was too busy to fall asleep. He could hear Cas’ soft snores from his room. He’d sleep beside Cas if it wasn’t too painful for him because god knows how uncomfortable and small their couch was.

He loved Cas. Goddammit, he loved Cas. What a fuckin’ joke.   

 

His bed was empty when he woke up the next morning.

He was disappointed.

Dean never made it to his test. He failed the class, for the third time.

 

A few months later he dropped out of college.

 

 

 

Dean and Cas talked again almost two months after Dean dropped out. He was in one of their paid gigs as a band when Cas visited him.

“Dean!” he called out.

“Hey, Cas. Did you enjoy the show?” He smiled at him as if nothing major happened between them.

“I did! You were great on stage,” he was smiling his gummy smile at him. It was something that Dean would surely miss if they fall apart.

“Thanks, man.”

Awkward silence. Dean had to bail.

“Cas, liste--”

“Are we okay?”

“What?”

“Are we okay?” Cas repeated.

“Yeah, sure, man,” he wasn’t, “we’re okay.”

Cas let out a huge sigh of relief, “Oh god, I thought I fucked things up!”

“Do you have time to talk? If you’re busy I could come in some time.”

“Nah, our set’s done, Cas. We’re practically done for the night.”

“Great, let’s head to that booth,” Cas pointed at the booth farthest from the stage.

Dean and Cas talked. They talked about the things they missed with each other after not talking for a month. Cas apologized to him after bailing out and not saying goodbye the day after, and Dean told him about him dropping out of the engineering department.

“What are your plans now?”

“Well I think we’re gonna continue with this band gig.” He waited for Castiel to say something, but when he clearly wasn’t talking, he continued, “I mean, now that I’m finally out of college, I could finally focus on writing songs and rehearsing.

“I’m the vocals so they really couldn’t do so much without me. Ash has a part-time job but Victor has a full-time one. He said he’ll figure things out to make time for rehearsals.”

Cas listened to Dean all night and for the first time since ‘the night’, it felt like things we’re back the way they were. But not really, though. A door had been opened and Dean couldn’t get the things that flew out back inside. Kinda like Pandora’s Box, but instead of plague and sufferings it’s his feelings. He was suffering and the only thing left inside the proverbial box was silence.

 

 

Dean signed a record deal from a major distributor, together with Victor and Ash, when he was 23. Cas just finished his education that year so they had a double celebration for both of their accomplishments. They celebrated with their friends and family and had a great time. Dean was happy, of course he was happy, but more so for Cas. He was finally someone he wanted to be and Dean was sure he’d achieve many things in his life.

And he did. Two years after he graduated he became the head accountant of their firm. A year later he was asked to be a partner.

Dean and his band became a household name. They’d been nominated for tons of awards and their songs were always at the top 10 of any charts. He could’ve anyone he wanted but he still wanted Cas. He never had a scandal of any sorts. Rumors would get shut down immediately because no one believed them, not even the non-fans.

Dean and Cas still spend time together. When they weren’t busy and somehow their lucky stars intertwined and they both have free time together, they’d fly to each other, unless one of them was overseas. Sometimes Dean would fly to Cas abroad but not the other way around. Cas had money but it was too much for his budget, and he wouldn’t let Dean get him tickets.

They never talked about ‘the night’. It’s okay, Dean understood. Cas was straight and he’ll never have eyes for Dean. Not even how much Dean prayed for it.

 

 

Cas and Hannah met again after several years. They were already in their early 30’s. Dean was still successful as he could be, and so was Cas. Hannah was doing great too. She was the head accountant of Cas’ firm’s new client, Sandover Bridge & Iron Inc. They had drinks, caught up on each other’s lives, went out. A few weeks later they’re back together. Dean had never seen Cas so happy again, and he swore to himself if Hannah broke his best friend’s heart again he’d literally drag her in mud and make her apologize to him, reputation be damned.

 

Dean never had a lover again, just endless strings of one night stands.

 

 

 

They were thirty-five when Cas proposed to Hannah. Dean orchestrated everything after Cas asked for help. Hannah said yes. Dean was tired but all of his efforts paid off. Cas was happy, that’s what’s important. If Cas was happy, he was happy.

 

 

 

*****************************************************************************************

 

 

The ceremony was beautiful.

 

Hannah and Cas chose a garden wedding and everything was breathtaking. It was like the faefolk came down from the forest and blessed their union.

Dean was beside Cas the whole time. He was the best man, of course. He could feel Cas’ nervousness and he would give anything in the world to kiss the man beside him, instead he just told him not to worry. That everything will be fine.

The guests, bridesmaids, and groomsmen were all wearing gray. Cas was wearing an all-black suit and Hannah was strictly the only one wearing white.

When Hannah appeared at the end of the carpet, everyone was in awe, even Dean. The moment she saw Hannah in her dress, and the sight of Cas in absolute happiness, he realized it was really the end.

Cas gasped as she saw her bride, more beautiful than anyone he’d ever seen in his life. Tears pooled in Cas’ eyes. He couldn’t wait to build and live a life with her.

Hannah was wearing a long-sleeved scoop neck ball-gown with a train made of tulle lace. Her hair was arranged in a messy way but still beautiful. She walked under a gorgeous lane of wisteria and all their friends and families were surrounded by gorgeous white flowers.

Dean gave Cas the rings. The couple exchanged their vows with tears of happiness in their eyes, and when the preacher declared them husband and wife, Dean felt like his insides were being ripped apart by the hounds of the underworld.

 

The entirety of the ceremony was perfection.

 

 

 

The flowers around the wedding marquee was just as stunning as at the ceremony. Every surface was still covered with white ranunculus, anemones, hydrangeas, and such.

The centerpieces were a combination of anemone, ranunculus, and dusty miller plant. They gray color of the dusty miller plant perfectly blending with the guests.

The celebration started and soon it was Dean’s turn to make a toas.

“Ladies and gentlemen, today we celebrate the wedding of Han and Cas,” Dean felt a lump in his throat, “I’ve known Han when we were in college and Cas was my buddy way back in high school.” He couldn’t do it. “They’ve been through a lot together,” but we’ve been through worse, “and even separated because of circumstances,” I never left his side, “they’ve walked their roads separately,” I was always there for him, “but obviously their roads intertwined again at the end.”

He had to go, “It doesn’t matter now what happened in the past,” he couldn’t be there anymore, “what’s important is the future.” Dean faked a smile. “To Hannah and Cas.”

“To Hannah and Cas.” Everybody repeated.

 

 

 

Dean sat on his chair and picked up his guitar. He tuned it a couple of times and started to play,

 

_It took one look_

_Then forever laid out in front of me_

_One smile, then I died_

_Only to be revived by you_

 

Everybody was quiet.

 

_There I was_

_Thought I had everything figured out_

_Goes to show just how much I know_

_‘Bout the way life plays out…_

 

Dean wrote the song three days after realizing his feelings for his best friend. Now he’s in his wedding, singing the song he wouldn’t even let his band mates see the lyrics. Now he’s in front of more than fifty people playing the song he laid his hear out in writing.

_I take one step away_

_Then I find myself coming back to you_

_My one and only, one and only you_

 

 

Everyone gave applause and sharp whistles of appreciation to the song, and when he looked at Cas and Hannah, he could see that the both of them were wiping tears from their faces.

It’s too much. Everything was too much. When Dean agreed to sing to the wedding he had no idea he’d strip his heart like this for everyone to see. He was itching to get out. To drink himself stupid. To forget. Anything to distract himself from the pain.

After his song, Dean made a short bow. Sam approached him to ask if it was a new song but he just smiled at him then he quickly went to the toilet to splash a water on his face, if he could drown in it then good. Cas caught up with him, “Dean, are you alright?” he asked. Concern.

“Yeah, Cas, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine to me, Dean, tell me the truth.”

“Nah, I’m fine. Go back to your beautiful wife, you bastard!” He smiled and playfully punched Cas’ shoulder, “if you don’t get your ass back there Imma steal her from you.”

The first time he lied to Cas.

“You wish, you heathen. She married me, not you.”

“So go, I’m fine, Cas.” He assured him, but Cas was still looking at him with big eyes.  “Go! I’ll be right there! Go dance with your wife!”

“Alright, fine. You better be there, I’m still gonna hook you up with one of the Candace, or maybe Zeke.”

“Okay, okay!”

 

 

Dean had no plans on staying any longer.

He texted Charlie that he was on his way to the airport.

Dean sent out a text to Cas and he knew he won’t be reading until after the ceremony.

With that, he left.

 

 

 

 

 

A year later Dean debuted their fourth studio album, Stories from the Hearth. It was a cheesy title, but since most its contents were cheesy, they all thought it was fitting. The album won multiple awards and even earned a Song of the Year award for their carrier single, Yours ‘til the End.

Critics and fans alike loved the album, but one song in particular tugged the heartstrings of everyone, A Dream. Some even saying it was the best song in the album.

Dean only performed the song once. It was when the band performed at their city.

 

They played it by the end of their show. Dean appeared on stage, alone. The lone spotlight on him. He picked up his guitar, tuned it a little, he tested it by strumming different chords, then played a tune. A second spotlight appeared, then later a third, lighting up Victor and Ash. Then Dean started to sing.

 

_Playing the lottery is even better than loving you_

_‘Cause even just a little, there's a chance I could win_

_You’re a princess, I’m a mess_

_Stories like that, you can only see on screen_

 

Dean knew exactly where Cas was sitting with Hannah, he gave the tickets after all. He told himself he’d never look them but he couldn’t help it so he closed his eyes, pouring out every emotion to his voice. He swore to himself he’d never love another as much as he had loved Cas, and now that he could never confess his feelings to the other man, he would just tell him through the song.

 

_Oh I love you_

_But I can't do a goddamn thing_

_It's alright, I’ve already accepted that_

_You're just a dream of mine_

 

Everyone was quiet, taken aback since it was the first time Dean performed the song live. When Dean finished singing, the lights went dark again but the audience were too stunned to react. Almost as if they were scared to break the silence. They all burst into applause after one of the audience started clapping.

 

 

 

Dean didn’t know when he’d stop loving Cas enough to let himself open up with another person, but he was confident it won’t be soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

End.

**Author's Note:**

> The song Dean played at the wedding is a real song called [Your Song (One and Only You)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nf1R2dqOvPc) I don't own any rights to the song or the band. I just used the song because it seemed fitting. Don't sue me, I don't have any money lmao
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it guys :)
> 
> Please let me know what you think.


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